There once was a girl who got an elephant from her brother on her twentieth birthday. The elephant soon died from starvation and the girl ate what she could of its flesh untill it began to rot. That was about two meals. Then she used an axe to chop the rotting carcass into thousands of little pieces. Then she put each piece into an envelope and sent them to every family in Oslo, Norway. Then she had her neighboor, Joey Barracüdaa the sofa-maker, to make a beautyful sofa out of the elephant's skin
This made her happy so she smoked a packet of chesterfields in her bed, read a book about loyalty and slept for 13 hours straight.
The elephant's name was Skippy.