FIVE SQUARED AS IN CHESS OR CHECKERS

A polaroid picture of me
sitting on the sofa,
but I don't remember
when it was taken
or why

I must have been at least
thirteen or fourteen
and my hair was set,
which means I hadn't
quit school yet.

To me there's nothing strange
or special here,
but Susan saw it yesterday
and said I look so open
and vulnerable.

Open and vulnerable.
How long will that haunt me?
Just when I'm feeling most secure,
like in the bar last night
with friends

someone can walk up
and attack me, use his lies or games
to get me all confused.
What's wrong with me that I let him,
and why can't I see it?

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Copyright © 1997 by Rochelle Ratner.

Light and Dust Mobile Anthology of Poetry.