MY FIRST POSED PHOTOGRAPH

I look so innocent
lying there with my hands
in their little half fists
and my arms spread out
to show I'm hiding nothing,
those two pillows propping me up,
with wide eyes turning
in interest to this stranger
with his big box. Yes, I look
so innocent. What happened?

No need to tell you
how I feel today --
angry and disgusted with myself,
how I've gotten so very aware
of what power I have,
using it to get what I want
or manipulate people. No,
say what it really is:
revenge.

The first time in my life
I want to strike out at someone
and I'm scared stiff.
If I didn't feel so vindictive
I wouldn't do this.
But I'm twenty-nine now,
time I stood on my own two feet
without pillows or people
behind me. Those little hands
better grip something soon
or they never will.

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Light and Dust Mobile Anthology of Poetry.